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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Upheaval In Yugoslavia

After refusing to concede defeat in the Sept. 24 election, Yugoslavian president Slobodan Milosevic finally stepped down amid mass protests Friday, ceding power to opposition leader Vojislav Kostunica. What do you think of the Yugoslavian uprising?
  • "Just when everyone was getting used to all the hatred and killing, they had to go and change everything."

    Rachel Klein Waitress
  • "Dude, this is so Ceaucescu."

    Milt Burris Systems Analyst
  • "Somehow, I don't think we've seen the last of Slobodan and his unholy legion of the undead."

    Joe Bonner Dishwasher
  • "You know, I'm thinking of getting my home Balkanized. No, wait, I mean winterized."

    Anita Pall Flight Attendant
  • "Those genocidal-dictator types have no respect for the democratic process."

    Bob Potvin Marketing Executive
  • "Like the Yugoslavian people, I once participated in violent, impassioned street demonstrations. We were so fuckin' psyched the Bulls three-peated."

    Bill Sherman Shipping Clerk

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