U.S. Admits To Killing Americans In Drone Strikes

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City Adds Some Big Concrete Stairs

They’re For Sitting On Or Running Up Or Something

CHICAGO—Noting the structure’s considerable size and prominent location in a busy public park, local residents confirmed Tuesday that the city had installed some big concrete stairs that were probably for sitting on or running up or something like that.
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U.S. Admits To Killing Americans In Drone Strikes

The government confirmed for the first time that it has killed Americans in strikes by unmanned aerial drones, killing four U.S. citizens in Yemen and Pakistan, including radical cleric Anwar Al-Awlaki. What do you think?

  • “Ha. At that rate it’ll take forever to kill all of us.”

    Doug Fardon
    Cloth Trimmer
  • “The death of fellow citizen Anwar Al-Awlaki was a terrible blow to our local PTA, not to mention our bowling team.”

    Marcus Voeten
    Goodwill Ambassador
  • “Good thing it was an unmanned drone. It’d be terrible if someone had to live with that guilt.”

    Gretchen La Costa
    Thinner Sprayer