U.S. Adults Below Average In Math, Literacy, Computers

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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U.S. Adults Below Average In Math, Literacy, Computers

According to a comparison of 18-to-65-year-olds in 22 advanced democracies, the U.S. placed ahead of only five countries on a test of literacy, and beat out just two countries in a test of math skills, while also placing 15th in a measure of computer skills. What do you think?

  • “But how many different types of barbecue sauce do they have?”

    James Stirdivant
    Acrobatic Rigger
  • “Oh, but what do these tests measure anyway but the ability to correctly answer a series of standardized questions that establish our global intellectual standing?”

    Lisanne Ralbovsky
    Fur Salesperson
  • “Wait, 22 countries, we’re ahead of five, and there’s a 65 in there somewhere, and 18, and 15th…What do we win?”

    Wayne Dichter
    Hosiery Mender