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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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U.S. Begins Nuclear Talks With Iran

The United States and five other nations will begin talks with Iranian negotiators in the city of Almaty, Kazakhstan today to discuss easing sanctions on the Middle Eastern country in exchange for a halt to its nuclear program. What do you think?

  • “Diplomacy? Sounds like another one of Obama’s harebrained schemes.”

    Al Moon Undercoat Sprayer
  • “Looks like someone just wants a free trip to Almaty.”

    Annabel Limery Unemployed
  • “They should do those trust falls. Those really help.”

    Richard Bozzi Rouge Mixer
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