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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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U.S. Births Drop Again

The number of births in the United States dropped for the third consecutive year in 2010, with birthrates in many age groups hitting an all-time low. What do you think?

  • "Fine, I’ll start fucking again."

    John Hayes Systems Analyst
  • "Yeah, everyone is really cramming in the abortions before the Roberts court takes another look at Roe v. Wade."

    Anne Barry C.O.D Clerk
  • "Guess that means Anne Geddes will just have to start dipping into the ugly baby pool."

    Peter Black Machine Cleaner
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