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U.S. Census Overcounted By 36,000

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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U.S. Census Overcounted By 36,000

A survey revealed that the 2010 census counted an extra 36,000 people, or 0.01 percent, because of duplicate forms and deaths, which is down from the 0.49 percent overcount in the 2000 census. What do you think?

  • “I still don’t know about those final numbers. I did a count of my own, and I only got up to like 500 people.”

    Laurie Dare Unemployed
  • “Great. So now five tons of ribs and corn on the cob are going to go to waste at the big Fourth of July bash the government's throwing everybody.”

    Ron Mann Gate Guard
  • “Imaginary Americans never get any respect from the Census Bureau.”

    David Harring Hand Knitter

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