adBlockCheck

Recent News

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
End Of Section
  • More News

U.S. Census Overcounted By 36,000

A survey revealed that the 2010 census counted an extra 36,000 people, or 0.01 percent, because of duplicate forms and deaths, which is down from the 0.49 percent overcount in the 2000 census. What do you think?

  • “I still don’t know about those final numbers. I did a count of my own, and I only got up to like 500 people.”

    Laurie Dare Unemployed
  • “Great. So now five tons of ribs and corn on the cob are going to go to waste at the big Fourth of July bash the government's throwing everybody.”

    Ron Mann Gate Guard
  • “Imaginary Americans never get any respect from the Census Bureau.”

    David Harring Hand Knitter

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close