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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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U.S. City Issues IDs To Illegal Immigrants

New Haven, CT is the first city in the nation to offer ID cards to illegal immigrants, thus granting them privileges such as library cards and bank accounts. What do you think?
  • "But I have always been told that immigrants have no identity."

    Carl Richmond First Aid Instructor
  • "Oh, great. Now the library waiting list for The Secret will be months."

    Waylon Helstrom Baker
  • "It's bad enough they're taking the jobs I don't want, but now they're getting the services I don't use!"

    Patty Walker Drywaller
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