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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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U.S. Cleaning Up Agent Orange In Vietnam

Thirty-seven years after the end of the Vietnam War, the United States will clean up an area in central Vietnam where Agent Orange was synthesized and stored, as seepage of the toxic defoliant into the groundwater has long been blamed by locals for cancer and birth defects. What do you think?

  • “Can we really be sure what’s causing all those problems with only 37 years of data?”

    Bob Bronner Lighting Equipment Operator
  • “Come on, if we go around cleaning up every little mess we created in every little country we invaded how are we going to have time to do anything else?”

    Butch Luscombe Unemployed
  • “Iraq, we’ll see you in 35 years or so."

    Julio Urbano Legal Secretary

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