adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

U.S. Coach: America Will Not Win World Cup

As the 2014 FIFA World Cup kicks off today in Brazil, U.S. coach Jürgen Klinsmann is taking flak for stating at a press conference that “For us now, talking about winning a World Cup is just not realistic,” a comment that many U.S. fans have viewed as defeatist and un-American. What do you think?

  • “What a fatalist. This guy also probably thinks soccer will never be more popular than football in the U.S.”

    Bryan Guse Cement Mixer
  • “Look, he’s just trying to manage expectations in the mistaken belief that anybody has any.”

    Ashley Prud’homme Legal Counsel
  • “Won’t he have egg on his face when he’s holding that giant trophy.”

    Robert Tarpinian Systems Analyst
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close