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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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U.S. Driving Less

Americans drove 53.2 billion fewer miles in the past nine months than they did in a comparable period a year ago. What do you think?
  • "This is a message for the auto companies that they need to be building cars that are bigger and more fun."

    Ruth Steinem Systems Analyst
  • "I've definitely driven a billion miles less than last year. Well, more like 800 million."

    Sam Pollard Spot Welder
  • "You know what? I bet that has something to do with high gas prices. Has anyone looked into that?"

    Ray Pettibon 3-D Modeler
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