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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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U.S. Economy Unexpectedly Shrank Last Quarter

The nation’s GDP contracted 0.1 percent over the final three months of 2012, surprising most economists and ending a string of three and a half years of growth. What do you think?

  • “Really? But I bought, like, four new shirts.”

    Raman Abbas Crystallizer Operator
  • “Certainly you didn’t expect this recent wave of wealth and prosperity to last forever.”

    Meredith Arguello Parasitologist
  • “I blame myself.”

    Wesley Washington Systems Analyst
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