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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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U.S. Facing Helium Shortage

With its helium reserves rapidly depleting, the United States faces a shortage expected to have a detrimental effect on certain sectors of the economy. What do you think?

  • “Ah, the hell with balloons anyway. They were useless for getting me well soon.”

    Jerry Faulk Lifeguard
  • “Greetings, earthling. We come in peace. See? Not as funny without the helium, is it?”

    Dana Creamer Systems Analyst
  • “As a dirigible pilot since 1935, I thank God for an excuse to get out of this fucking business.”

    Gary William Delineator

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