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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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U.S. Funding Video Games

According to University of Texas tax professor Calvin H. Johnson, the video game industry is one of the most heavily subsidized in the United States, a result of its unique position in software development, entertainment, and online retail. What do you think?

  • "We need these subsidies if we want our video games to compete with popular foreign games like Madden Cricket League ’12 and Grand Theft Peugeot."

    Jeff Malcom Binder Layer
  • “Are you saying my unemployed son may actually be doing something productive by obsessively playing video games? No? You’re not saying that at all?”

    Leticia Smart Mold Laminator
  • "Now perhaps people will stop asking me what the hell I'm talking about when I say Madden NFL is the ethanol of video games."

    Shelby Jolly Candy Maker

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