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U.S. Headed For 'Fiscal Cliff'

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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U.S. Headed For 'Fiscal Cliff'

According to the Congressional Budget Office, if Republicans and Democrats don't resolve their budget stalemate by year’s end, they may push the nation over a "fiscal cliff," with automatic spending cuts and tax increases causing a new recession and 2 million job losses in 2013. What do you think?

  • “Okay, that doesn’t sound good. How much do we have in savings?"

    Patti Tostado Butcher
  • “I’d be more interested in this issue if you told me one specific party to blame.”

    Donald Borchers Ammonia Still Operator
  • “Wow, really? Just like Nostradamus predicted.”

    Curtis Garsha Unemployed

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