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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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U.S. Hits 300 Million People

The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that the U.S. population reached 300 million today at 7:46 am. What do you think?
  • "That's great. I'm like three guys short for my poker game this Thursday."

    Brandon Kelvin Heating Installer
  • "We could always give Minnesota its independence. That would trim it back some, and I've always hated those guys."

    Clarissa Benjamin Bus Driver
  • "Thank God we have the second-highest infant-mortality rate in the industrialized world, or else we'd be screwed."

    Owen Last Dry Cleaner
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