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U.S. Home Prices Rise Sharply

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NFL Vows To Fix Bottomless Pit On Levi’s Stadium Field Before Super Bowl

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following persistent safety concerns regarding the playing surface throughout the regular season, the NFL made firm assurances Friday to both the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers that the bottomless pit in the middle of the field at Levi’s Stadium will be fully repaired before Super Bowl 50.

Area Man Would Hate Cam Newton Even If He Was Different Minority

MURRAY, KY—Adamantly stressing that his disdain for the 26-year-old quarterback is not based on any racial prejudice toward African Americans, local 49-year-old Michael Willet told reporters Friday that he would hate Cam Newton even if the Carolina Panthers star was a different minority.

Monocle-Wearing Oil Baron’s Cigarette Holder Splinters In Clenched Teeth After Hearing Bernie Sanders’ Environmental Platform

GREENWICH, CT—Leaving him visibly seething as he sat in his tufted leather wingback chair in his study, monocle-wearing oil baron Frederick Porter Harriman’s ivory-inlaid cigarette holder reportedly splintered between his clenched teeth upon him hearing presidential candidate Bernie Sanders outline his environmental platform during Thursday night’s Democratic debate.

Driving Vs. Public Transportation

Weighing factors such as convenience, time commitment, and environmental impact, deciding whether to commute via car or public transit can be difficult. Here is a side-by-side comparison of the two options
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U.S. Home Prices Rise Sharply

According to newly released figures, home prices in the United States rose 12 percent from April 2012 to April 2013, the fastest rate of increase since before the housing crash in 2006. What do you think?

  • “Well now I’ll never be able to afford a house without some kind of ridiculous loan.”

    Rex Franco
    Railroad Track Layer
  • “But I’ve had the house where my mom died on the market for more than a year. Maybe I should stop advertising it that way.”

    Lois Stevens
    Frame Assembler
  • “I don’t understand math, so I’ll buy two houses just to be safe.”

    Ron Foy
    Wildlife Control Agent

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