U.S. Home Prices Rise Sharply

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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  • Doctors Recommend Getting 8 Centuries Of Cryosleep

    STANFORD, CA—Claiming that the practice is essential for effectively recharging the body and waking fully rested and alert, doctors at Stanford University issued a report Monday emphasizing the importance of getting at least eight centuries of atomi...

U.S. Home Prices Rise Sharply

According to newly released figures, home prices in the United States rose 12 percent from April 2012 to April 2013, the fastest rate of increase since before the housing crash in 2006. What do you think?

  • “Well now I’ll never be able to afford a house without some kind of ridiculous loan.”

    Rex Franco
    Railroad Track Layer
  • “But I’ve had the house where my mom died on the market for more than a year. Maybe I should stop advertising it that way.”

    Lois Stevens
    Frame Assembler
  • “I don’t understand math, so I’ll buy two houses just to be safe.”

    Ron Foy
    Wildlife Control Agent
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