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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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U.S. Horse Slaughter To Resume

A five-year ban on the butchering of horses for meat has expired, meaning slaughterhouses can once more process horses for human consumption. What do you think?

  • "Yuck! What have they been putting in my horse cakes?"

    Kevin Crispiano Meter Shop Supervisor
  • "Hey, everybody complaining about excessive government regulation, the Obama administration hears you. Now go eat some horse meat."

    Hector Velez Knitter Mechanic
  • "This opens the door for Roy Rogers to bring back the Triggerburger."

    Katie Steinweiss Unemployed
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