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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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U.S. House Hardly Working

To date, the House of Representatives has worked less than 25 days this year. What do you think?
  • "Maybe they're still working off the overtime accrued from the Schiavo emergency session."

    Ryan Ridge Optometrist
  • "I thought Wal-Mart's Tuesday/Thursday greeter looked awfully like U.S. Rep. Mike Conaway."

    Joe Chandler Lumberjack
  • "Take a classic masterpiece like the Anti-Injunction Act of 1793, and compare it to the monstrosity that is the current Postal Service Act Amendment Bill of 2005. See? You can't rush good drafting."

    Alleen Barber Systems Analyst
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