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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.
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U.S. Income Inequality Widest Since 1928

Last year, the nation’s wealthiest 1 percent took in the largest share of U.S. household income since the eve of the Great Depression in 1928, with their incomes rising 20 percent during 2012, compared to a 1 percent annual increase in income for the remaining 99 percent of the population. What do you think?

  • “All right! So we’re only a crash, a war, and a dust bowl away from a level playing field!”

    Winter Dillon Systems Analyst
  • “Maybe 2014 will be the 99 percent’s year.”

    Douglas Kopecky Battery Assembler
  • “You mean all these good times could be coming to an end?”

    Charlene Kirk Airbrush Artist

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