U.S. Infant-Mortality High

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Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

U.S. Infant-Mortality High

In a survey of 33 industrialized nations, the United States was shown to have the second-worst infant-mortality rate. What do you think?
  • "Hey, don't put this at my feet. I stopped shaking my babies months ago."

    Kate Thornton
    Career Counselor
  • "Fucking unpatriotic dead babies making the United States look bad."

    Alan Kincaid
    Switchboard Operator
  • "Number two? This is bullshit!"

    Kevin Kolski
    Systems Analyst
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