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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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U.S. Lifts Embargo Against Palestine

The United States lifted sanctions against Palestine, and will resume sending aid to the country. What do you think?
  • "This will certainly anger and/or please Hamas and/or Fatah and inspire violence and/or peace in the region."

    Barry Dudley Carpet Cleaner
  • "Next, the U.S. should resume sending aid to our public schools, because a lot of people have no idea where or what Palestine is."

    Steven Jeczalik Paper Stacker
  • "Was I not supposed to be sending money to Palestine this whole time? Whoops. My mistake."

    Ann Langan Greens Tender
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