U.S. May Pass Saudi Arabia As Top Oil Producer

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Vol 48 Issue 43

Meat Loaf Endorses Romney

Performing after the band Big & Rich at a Romney rally last night, Meat Loaf offered the candidate an unusual, rambling endorsement in which the 65-year-old rocker mentioned that he had never been involved in politics before, that the Cold War is not ...

Man Throws Money At Problem

A birthday card is discreetly passed around the office like some sort of covert CIA operation, Apple's gag division unveils the sleekest fake dog shit to date, and cactus scientists recommend drinking 8 cups of water per year.

U.S. Signs Declaration Of Dependence On China

WASHINGTON—In what is certain to be regarded as a defining moment in the nation’s history, leading U.S. political figures gathered at the Capitol today to sign their names to the newly drafted Declaration of Dependence ...
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  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

U.S. May Pass Saudi Arabia As Top Oil Producer

Driven largely by high prices and new drilling technologies, domestic production of oil is now expanding at its fastest rate since 1951, leading many to project that the United States could overtake Saudi Arabia as the world’s largest producer within years. What do you think?

  • “I think I’m going to stick with the Saudi stuff. Imported oil just feels fancier.”

    Brick Bradford
    Spectrographer
  • “Huh. It almost makes you wonder if waging a war with Iraq was even worth it.”

    Brittany Sartor
    Human Resources Clerk
  • “You realize this only gives more power to local U.S. warlords.”

    Gerald Stirdivant
    Parachute Mender
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