adBlockCheck

Recent News

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
End Of Section
  • More News

U.S. Middle Class No Longer Richest In World

An analysis by the New York Times revealed that the United States no longer has the richest middle class in the world and is now second behind Canada. What do you think?

  • “Oh, sure, if you’re going to compare us to first-world countries, we’re definitely not going to come out looking so good.”

    Arnie McCray Landscape Architect
  • “I had a feeling that Canada was doing better than us after it installed that new set of kitchen cabinets we simply can’t afford right now.”

    Ivy Holloway Assistant Teacher
  • “Gay marriage is destroying this nation.”

    Patrick Ansa Systems Analyst

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close