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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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U.S. Middle Class No Longer Richest In World

An analysis by the New York Times revealed that the United States no longer has the richest middle class in the world and is now second behind Canada. What do you think?

  • “Oh, sure, if you’re going to compare us to first-world countries, we’re definitely not going to come out looking so good.”

    Arnie McCray Landscape Architect
  • “I had a feeling that Canada was doing better than us after it installed that new set of kitchen cabinets we simply can’t afford right now.”

    Ivy Holloway Assistant Teacher
  • “Gay marriage is destroying this nation.”

    Patrick Ansa Systems Analyst
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