adBlockCheck

U.S. Planes Kill Canadian

Top Headlines

Recent News

Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Originality

Holidays

U.S. Planes Kill Canadian

U.S. warplanes accidentally fired on Canadian troops in southern Afghanistan, killing one and wounding five. What do you think?
  • "This sends a powerful message to bin Laden. It says, 'We're willing to destroy any ally in order to hunt you down in what would be a largely symbolic victory.'"

    Karen Walton
    Safety Inspector
  • "Clearly, U.S. military leaders are having some creative differences over there. One idea would be to decide on the enemy, and then agree not to kill people who do not fall under that category."

    Jaime Rodriguez
    Systems Analyst
  • "Look, the American military does not discriminate. Gay, straight, Taliban, Canadian, Pat Tillman—we will shoot you all."

    Keith McGovern
    Housewares Associate

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close