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U.S. Ready For North Korean Missile

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A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture

‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

ISIS Starting To Worry New Recruit Huge Psycho

RAQQA, SYRIA—Admitting that the recently arrived jihadist’s disturbing behavior was becoming a serious cause for concern, several ISIS members told reporters Friday they were starting to worry that new recruit Said Hassad was a huge psycho.
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U.S. Ready For North Korean Missile

Following the testing of a missile defense system, the Senate Armed Services Committee was told that there is a "high probability" that they could intercept a North Korean missile. What do you think?
  • “Oh! Oh! If we intercept it, can we keep it?”

    Eddie Kerr Customs Agent
  • “Wouldn’t it just be easier for the Japanese mainland to intercept the missile?”

    Megan Carpio Case Manager
  • "Wait, the U.S. actually has a working missile defense system? Oh, I keep forgetting we now live in that alternate universe with that black president."

    Nick Sanford Bricklayer

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