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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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U.S. Researchers Clone Monkeys

Using skin cells, scientists at the Oregon National Primate Research Center have cloned rhesus macaque monkeys and harvested stem cells. What do you think?
  • "Before we get all excited, let's remember—cloning is a long and difficult process that will only be available to the wealthiest monkeys."

    Keith Spicolli Teacher
  • "I'd better hold my praise until some opinionated monk calls himself a bioethicist and weighs in."

    Martin Nyman Financial Planner
  • "Oh great. Now this box full of rare monkeys I've got is worthless."

    Leona Frye Cook

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