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Nobel Committee Awards Self Peace Prize For Once

‘Sometimes You Just Need To Treat Yourself,’ Sources Say

OSLO, NORWAY—Saying there was nothing wrong with treating yourself for a change, the Norwegian Nobel Committee announced Friday that it was awarding the 2017 Nobel Peace Prize to itself for once.

Web Series Reaches 100 Views

A comedic webisode about two roommates became a viral sensation this week after reaching the unprecedented 100 view milestone.

The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.
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U.S. Seeks Help In Iraq

In a U.N. resolution last week, the U.S. sought troops and money from all nations to aide in Iraq's postwar reconstruction. What do you think?
  • "They weren't too keen on helping us invade, but now that we've shown them we can do it, I bet they'll fall all over themselves to pitch in."

    Joseph O'Brien Systems Analyst
  • "Finally, the U.S. is allowing other countries to contribute financially to Iraq's reconstruction. They were getting really pissed off that we weren't letting them do that."

    Erin&nbsp;Rose Interior <br>Designer
  • "We must get the other nations of the world to commit troops in Iraq. Then they'll be weak at home—and we can strike!"

    Brett Gelman Poet
  • "There's trouble in Iraq?! Quickly! To the unilateral- invasion-mobile!"

    Don Moe Translator
  • "When a nation sees a fellow nation going through troubled times, like Iraq is now, it's important to reach out and help. Together, through caring and sharing, we can make a difference."

    Evan&nbsp;Foley Lawyer
  • "Good heavens! So many problems and complications! I sure do miss having the old Iraq around, just the way it was."

    Julie Brister Social Worker

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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

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