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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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U.S. Suicide Rate Up Amid Economic Crisis

According to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data, the national suicide rate climbed slowly from 1999 to 2007, but then surged more than fourfold between 2008 and 2010, during the depths of the nation’s economic crisis. What do you think?

  • “Makes sense. Nothing boosts morale or whisks your blues away quite like a full-time job.”

    Ingrid Hebenstreit Forest Fire Warden
  • “Aw, hang in there, guys! I’m rich and I’m incredibly happy!”

    Travis Cardinal Film Spooler
  • “It was silly for all those people to kill themselves back then. They should have waited until after the election like me. Goodbye.”

    Jeff Larissa Hammersmith

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