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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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U.S. To Hold Peace Talks With Taliban

American and Taliban leaders confirmed yesterday that they would meet face-to-face this week in the Taliban’s newly opened political office in Qatar to discuss a formal peace agreement to end the 12-year war in Afghanistan. What do you think?

  • “Middle East peace talks! That’s a great idea!”

    Ron Diamantopoulos Weaver
  • “Oh no, now we’re going to get a reputation of being a country that folds after only 10 to 15 years of pointless fighting.”

    Valentina Esposito Rafting Guide
  • “Good luck to both sides!”

    Bryce Milars Systems Analyst

More from this section

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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