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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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U.S.-Turkey Relations Cool

Turkey recalled its ambassador to the U.S. and warned there would be dire consequences if Congress passes a resolution classifying the massacre of 1.5 million Armenians between 1915 and 1923 as genocide. What do you think?
  • "This is reminiscent of when Germany withdrew their ambassador until America officially recognized Oktoberfest."

    Jane Young Systems Analyst
  • "Well, politics is all about finding a middle ground. How about calling it an unmitigated slaughter? Would that work?"

    Ricardo Olmos Traffic Cop
  • "If there's anything our Congress is good at, it's passing philosophical resolutions in name only that have no tangible outcome."

    Ben Hauer Insurance Agent
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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

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