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Google Unveils New Larry Page–Driven Car

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the project as its most advanced foray yet into the realm of personal transportation, Google unveiled its new Larry Page–driven car at a press event Wednesday.

Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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U.S. Warns North Korea Not To Test Missile

The White House warned North Korea that if it went ahead with a planned long-range missile test, the United States would withhold food aid from the nation. What do you think?

  • "Unfortunately, Kim Jong-un has no incentive to call off the weapons test after learning the USAID high-nutrient biscuits aren't chocolate-dipped or sprinkle-covered."

    Karen Vidal Systems Analyst
  • "I say let them go ahead with the test. There's a good chance of this being really hilarious when it doesn't work."

    Sebastian Howard Placer
  • "North Korea has a legitimate need to defend itself against itself."

    Jeff Sexton Rodding Machine Tender
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Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

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