U.S. Wins Its First Olympic Gold Medal In Ice Dancing

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

U.S. Wins Its First Olympic Gold Medal In Ice Dancing

U.S. Olympic skating pair Meryl Davis and Charlie White took home the gold medal in Ice Dancing on Monday with their free-skate performance of “Scheherazade,” the first time the United States has won a gold medal in the event. What do you think?

  • “This is just the pick-me-up we needed after Iraq and Afghanistan.”

    David Belcher
  • “See, people say the Winter Olympics has limited appeal, but then you get an interpretive ballroom ice-dance version of a 19th-century symphony about an Arabian fable, and who can’t get on board?”

    Sean Glover
    Parade Organizer
  • “My bookie really took a bath on this one.”

    Lilly Baker
    Special Education Instructor