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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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U.S. Withdraws $800 Million In Pakistan Aid

In the midst of strained relations between the two countries, the United States announced it would suspend more than one-third of its $2 billion in military assistance to Pakistan. What do you think?

  • "If we withhold that aid, I fear Pakistan might quit pretending to be our ally."

    Rick McGee Day Care Attendant
  • "Take that, Pakistan! Feel the stinging rebuke of receiving only $1.2 billion of U.S. taxpayer money for your ineffective, crooked military!"

    Grace Green Wood-Heel Finisher
  • "Hey, Israel, you seeing this? You could be next. You've got another decade's worth of chances, and that's it."

    Adam Foster Cabana Attendant

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