Utah Group Moves To Recall Wisconsin Senators

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Vol 47 Issue 08

CynGen Press Release

CynGen released this statement in response to public outcry over a screaming cob of genetically modified corn.

U-Say Responses To Tillis' Resignation

Our inbox has been flooded with emails of support for Tillis following his decision to step down. "God bless you,Tillis. Best of luck in all your drinking." --Jacob E., Franklin, KY "My friends and I will pour a bottle of gin on the sidew...

Upcoming SIURT Reports

Don't miss these upcoming reports by the Onion News Network Special Investigative Undercover Response Team: We all assume there are precautions in place to prevent restaurant employees from masturbating into our food, but is this actually the case? SIURT ...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Utah Group Moves To Recall Wisconsin Senators

A Utah-based group called American Recall Coalition has filed paperwork to recall eight Wisconsin state senators. What do you think?

  • "Following their example, my fellow Pennsylvanians and I have filed paperwork to compel Moammar Qaddafi to step down in Libya."

    Adam Darnell
    Road Paver
  • "They'll need 128,000 signatures, but should be taken seriously. People from Utah generally know a thing or two about knocking on doors."

    Danny Browder
    Retail Clerk
  • "You had me with 'Utah-based.' Where do I sign?"

    Crystal Kaegi
    Unemployed
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