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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Utah Polygamist Convicted

Warren Jeffs, the leader of a polygamous Mormon splinter group, was found guilty of being an accomplice to rape for marrying a 14-year-old girl to a 19-year-old man. What do you think?
  • "Is this that Romney guy everybody's talking about?"

    Tammy Karp Systems Analyst
  • "Oh, come on. If I were to get convicted every time I was an accomplice to rape for marrying a 14-year-old to a 19-year-old, I would have been convicted exactly four times."

    Sig Carvel Ticket Taker
  • "Also, they were first cousins. Just thought I'd throw that into the mix."

    Leonard McNulty Carpet Installer

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