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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Vast Field Of Marijuana Found In Chicago

Officers in a police helicopter discovered a marijuana plantation on Chicago’s South Side that is the size of two football fields, containing more than 1,500 large plants and worth an estimated $7 million to $10 million. What do you think?

  • “Oh, didn’t they see it earlier when it was on Buzzfeed’s top 20 marijuana plantations visible on Google Maps?”

    Jack McCulley Experimental Welder
  • “Are they sure it’s not oregano? One time I bought a field of marijuana from a guy, and when I got it home, it was just a vast field of oregano.”

    Theadora Melnick Racehorse Trainer
  • “Who would have thought to commit a crime in Chicago?”

    Mark Edelman Sewing Machine Operator

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