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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Vatican Blames Man-Made Emissions For Global Warming

A scientific panel convened by the Vatican called upon people to work to reduce the emission of greenhouse gasses to slow global climate change. What do you think?

  • “If the Church can go from forgiving Galileo to accepting global warming in 11 years, I figure they’re on track to admit God doesn’t exist by 2015.”

    Aiden Theart Systems Analyst
  • "It's all there in the story of the ass who tricked Jephtha into producing carbon dioxide."

    Sophia Lambert Tabber
  • "Sounds like God and science have some kind of cross-promotional thing going on. As an ad man, I respect that."

    Anthony Adams Advertising Agent
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