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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Vatican Blames Man-Made Emissions For Global Warming

A scientific panel convened by the Vatican called upon people to work to reduce the emission of greenhouse gasses to slow global climate change. What do you think?

  • “If the Church can go from forgiving Galileo to accepting global warming in 11 years, I figure they’re on track to admit God doesn’t exist by 2015.”

    Aiden Theart Systems Analyst
  • "It's all there in the story of the ass who tricked Jephtha into producing carbon dioxide."

    Sophia Lambert Tabber
  • "Sounds like God and science have some kind of cross-promotional thing going on. As an ad man, I respect that."

    Anthony Adams Advertising Agent

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