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Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.
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Vatican Okays Space Aliens

Vatican chief astronomer Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes stated that belief in extraterrestrial life is not contradictory with church doctrine because aliens would still be God's creatures. What do you think?
  • "Is that the same astronomer who pardoned Galileo? He's really on fire this decade."

    Babette Kroll Systems Analyst
  • "Get with the times, Catholicism. Scientology already proved that aliens are real."

    Mark Klein Opthalmic Dispenser
  • "Sure, what's the harm in believing in two things with no physical evidence?"

    Jerry Goodwiler Cashier

More from this section

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

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