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Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Veep's Daughter In Cocaine Video?

A self-described "friend" of Vice President Joe Biden's daughter Ashley is attempting to sell for $250,000 a video in which the 27-year-old purportedly does cocaine. What do you think?
  • “I don't get it. What's the hook here? Does she do cocaine really well? Is it an impressive amount of cocaine?”

    George Furlong Humane Officer
  • “If she was snorting it through one of those pocket Constitutions that Kucinich hands out, I’ll go get my checkbook.”

    Peggy Bryan Watch Assembly Inspector
  • "Did you know there's a videotape of Richard Hilton's daughter Paris having sex?"

    Leon Walker Cabinetmaker

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Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

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