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Vegan Oktoberfest Coming To California

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Vegan Oktoberfest Coming To California

An alternative version of the Bavarian holiday Oktoberfest is coming to Santa Monica, CA for people who don’t eat animal products, replacing traditional German foods with vegan bratwurst, pancakes, sauerkraut, and beer. What do you think?

  • “German heritage is nothing if not flexible.”

    Linda Woods Retail Consultant
  • “Looks like I finally found a use for my meat flask.”

    Jason Werner Grass Cutter
  • “I think my all-Oompah tribute to Morrissey just booked its first gig.”

    Gabriel McMartin Unemployed

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