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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Vehicular Search And Seizure

Last week, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 7-2 that police do not need a warrant to search or seize a vehicle in a public place. What do you think of the court's decision to expand police powers and limit the rights of criminal suspects?
  • "Can people who are not police search and seize cars now, too? Because I've had my eye on my neighbor's Camaro for a long, long time."

    Thomas Rayburn Systems Analyst
  • "Police definitely need to file a warrant before they search a vehicle. Otherwise, how will they know for sure that the car belongs to a minority?"

    Louise O'Connell Receptionist
  • "What's this country coming to? Next, the police will be able to confiscate the weed from my glove compartment, too."

    Christine Davis Dental Hygienist
  • "As a certified bikini inspector, let me tell you I don't need a warrant to do my job, either. Whoo-hoo!"

    Ben Gaitskell Repair Man
  • "It sounds like this is just one more way American civil liberties are being quietly chipped away. Oh, well. Could you pass me another Nutter Butter? Those things are tasty."

    Andy Perón Machine Operator
  • "Everyone's blowing this so-called rights issue out of proportion. If someone's driving erratically, more often than not they have a car full of Jews."

    Cecil Dubcek Hospital Administrator

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