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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Vehicular Search And Seizure

Last week, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 7-2 that police do not need a warrant to search or seize a vehicle in a public place. What do you think of the court's decision to expand police powers and limit the rights of criminal suspects?
  • "Can people who are not police search and seize cars now, too? Because I've had my eye on my neighbor's Camaro for a long, long time."

    Thomas Rayburn Systems Analyst
  • "Police definitely need to file a warrant before they search a vehicle. Otherwise, how will they know for sure that the car belongs to a minority?"

    Louise O'Connell Receptionist
  • "What's this country coming to? Next, the police will be able to confiscate the weed from my glove compartment, too."

    Christine Davis Dental Hygienist
  • "As a certified bikini inspector, let me tell you I don't need a warrant to do my job, either. Whoo-hoo!"

    Ben Gaitskell Repair Man
  • "It sounds like this is just one more way American civil liberties are being quietly chipped away. Oh, well. Could you pass me another Nutter Butter? Those things are tasty."

    Andy Perón Machine Operator
  • "Everyone's blowing this so-called rights issue out of proportion. If someone's driving erratically, more often than not they have a car full of Jews."

    Cecil Dubcek Hospital Administrator

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