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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Venezuela Offers Oil To Poor In Massachusetts

Under an agreement with Venezuela President Hugo Chavez, the poor in Massachusetts will receive cheap heating oil this winter. What do you think?
  • "Stupid Venezuelans! Don't they know the stuff's valuable?"

    Hugh Webb Pipe Fitter
  • "Our government should accept it and then turn around and sell it at a huge profit. In your face, Venezuelan president! And the poor!"

    Brenda Kruse Manicurist
  • "I think the poor should do the right thing and snub Chavez's offer."

    Hank Augustine Switchboard Operator

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