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Venezuelans Flee to Florida

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A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture

‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

ISIS Starting To Worry New Recruit Huge Psycho

RAQQA, SYRIA—Admitting that the recently arrived jihadist’s disturbing behavior was becoming a serious cause for concern, several ISIS members told reporters Friday they were starting to worry that new recruit Said Hassad was a huge psycho.
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Venezuelans Flee to Florida

Wealthy Venezuelans are leaving their home country for Florida in order to escape the economic policies of President Hugo Chavez. What do you think?
  • "If America is anything it's a land of opportunity for people who already have a shitload of money."

    Gavin Drexell Trophy Engraver
  • "I consider myself a pretty open-minded person, but I draw the line at having Latino immigrants in this country with more money than I have."

    Marty Hoyt Scrap Metal Dealer
  • "At least they'll be able to afford nice rafts."

    Carrie Zapruder Web Coder

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