adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Vermont OKs Gay Marriage

Last week, Vermont became the first state to legally recognize same-sex marriages. What do you think about this historic legislation?
  • "At long last, Ben will be able to make an honest man of Jerry."

    Linda Leone Pharmacist
  • "Gay marriage is only going to take weddings to another opulent level."

    Risa More School Psychologist
  • "I suppose it's okay for homosexuals to marry–so long as they don't marry each other, of course."

    Richard Westlake Systems Analyst
  • "Shit. Now Mom will really step up the pressure on me and my leather slave to finally tie the knot."

    Hal Iorg Gas-Station Clerk
  • "First, the military, now marriage. Why do these gays want in on our worst institutions?"

    George Lewis Architect
  • "Homosexuals are just trying to make their sodomy as morally acceptable as the sodomy I enjoy in my church-sanctioned marriage."

    Frank Brodhagen Truck Driver

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close