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Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Virginia To Execute First Woman In 97 Years

Unless the state's governor issues a stay of execution, Virginia will to execute Teresa Lewis on Sept. 23. What do you think?

  • "This is so unfair. I'm sure she's only going to be given two-thirds of the poison that a man would get."

    Pam Day Systems Analyst
  • "Hey, that's my birthday!"

    Matt Benton Hack-Saw Operator
  • "But it's not an execution; it's just a test to see if she's a witch. If she survives the potassium chloride injection, then we'll know for sure that she is one."

    Marc Johnson Nutrition Aide

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Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

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