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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Voter ID Laws May Bar 10 Million Latinos

State laws that restrict voting, including measures that require photo ID or proof of citizenship at the polls, could prevent as many as 10 million Hispanic citizens of the United States from casting a ballot this election, according to a study by civil rights advocates. What do you think?

  • “I don’t get it. Who would benefit from this?”

    Calvin Walsh Mason
  • “It’s a lot of pressure, but as a white voter it looks like this election is once again up to me.”

    Andrea Lieberman Theater Technician
  • “I can’t wait to see this moment on a timeline in a future civil rights museum.”

    Jeremy Spalding Systems Analyst

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