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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.

Veteran Given Hero’s Welcome Back To Afghanistan

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—Waving flags and breaking into cheers the moment they spotted the veteran, dozens of joyous citizens gave Marine Pfc. Victor Rosas, 23, a hero’s welcome back to Afghanistan, sources reported Tuesday.

OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.
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Voter ID Laws May Bar 10 Million Latinos

State laws that restrict voting, including measures that require photo ID or proof of citizenship at the polls, could prevent as many as 10 million Hispanic citizens of the United States from casting a ballot this election, according to a study by civil rights advocates. What do you think?

  • “I don’t get it. Who would benefit from this?”

    Calvin Walsh Mason
  • “It’s a lot of pressure, but as a white voter it looks like this election is once again up to me.”

    Andrea Lieberman Theater Technician
  • “I can’t wait to see this moment on a timeline in a future civil rights museum.”

    Jeremy Spalding Systems Analyst

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