Voting Begins In Iowa

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Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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Voting Begins In Iowa

More than a month before Election Day, residents of key swing state Iowa began casting their ballots at designated polling locations yesterday as part of the state’s early voting process. What do you think?

  • “I don’t vote early because I like to make the candidates sweat.”

    Carmen Eklund Systems Analyst
  • “But how can those people make a decision without knowing whether the candidates thank the moderators at the upcoming debates?”

    Scott Ram Label Stamper
  • “I’d still wait. What if the candidate who shares all your values and policy views accidentally says something that sounds inappropriate when taken out of context?”

    Orville Marchant Rust Proofer


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