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Voting Begins In Iowa

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Voting Begins In Iowa

More than a month before Election Day, residents of key swing state Iowa began casting their ballots at designated polling locations yesterday as part of the state’s early voting process. What do you think?

  • “I don’t vote early because I like to make the candidates sweat.”

    Carmen Eklund Systems Analyst
  • “But how can those people make a decision without knowing whether the candidates thank the moderators at the upcoming debates?”

    Scott Ram Label Stamper
  • “I’d still wait. What if the candidate who shares all your values and policy views accidentally says something that sounds inappropriate when taken out of context?”

    Orville Marchant Rust Proofer

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