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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Wal-Mart Fortune Left To Charity

The death of the Wal-Mart founder's widow, Helen Walton, is slated to become a $16.4 billion windfall for The Walton Family Foundation, a charitable organization that backs public education reform. What do you think?
  • "Helen Walton leaving her fortune to the Walton Family Foundation? This stinks of nepotism."

    Lacey Rasmussen Systems Analyst
  • "This mom-and-pop public education operation has been around long enough."

    Brendan Flaherty Concierge
  • "On the one hand, I don't care for Wal-Mart. On the other hand, I don't care for public education. So this rich dead lady is really starting to piss me off."

    Larry Keenan Grocer

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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