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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Wal-Mart Shutters New York Fashion Presence

Two years after relocating its fashion offices to New York, retail giant Wal-Mart announced it was moving the division back to Arkansas. What do you think?

  • "It’s about time they stopped chasing all those big-city fashion trends like zippers."

    Emily Kohler Systems Analyst
  • "They shouldn't feel too bad. Wal-Mart certainly isn’t the first multinational corporation to pack its failed New York dreams into a beat-up old suitcase and buy a one-way ticket back home."

    Drew LaFollete Power Line Examiner
  • "That's great! I always enjoy hearing about history's most profitable corporations finding various ways to save money."

    Tom Schmederman Wax Bleacher
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