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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Wal-Mart To Carry Morning-After Pill?

Women's groups are pressuring Wal-Mart to change their policy and start carrying the morning-after Pill. What do you think?
  • "Wal-Mart has always sold emergency contraceptives. What do you think the paint aisle is for?"

    Paul Zagoras Fish And Wildlife Conservation Officer
  • "Wal-Mart didn't carry the medication when I needed it, but in the interest of serving my needs, the pharmacist did refer to a very inspirational Bible passage."

    Mike Gerald CPA
  • "It makes sense to me, because when I think about birth control, my first thought is definitely Wal-Mart customers."

    Erica Tunnison Bartender

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